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- If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills, 
- If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,- If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it, - If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time, - If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong, - If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, - If you can face the world without lies and deceit, - If you can conquer tension without medical help, - If you can relax without liquor, - If you can sleep without the aid of drugs, - If you can do all these things... - THEN YOU ARE PROBABLY THE FAMILY DOG * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Top Ten Reasons Why Dogs Are Better Pets Than Cats: 
1. Dogs will tilt their heads and try to understand
every word you say. Cats will ignore you and take a nap.2. Cats look silly on a leash. 3. When you come home from work, your dog will be happy and lick your face. Cats will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place. 4. Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born. 5. A dog knows when you're sad. And he'll try to comfort you. Cats don't care how you feel, as long as you remember where the can opener is. 6. Dogs will bring you your slippers. Cats will drop a dead mouse in your slippers. 7. When you take them for a ride, dogs will sit on the seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private basket, or they won't go at all.  8.
Dogs will come when you call them. And they'll be happy. Cats will have someone
take a message and get back to you. 9. Dogs will play fetch with you all day long. The only thing cats will play with all day long are small rodents or bugs, preferably ones that look like they're in pain. 10. Dogs will wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door. 
Top 10 Reasons Why It's Great to Be a Dog: 1. If it itches, you can reach it. And no matter where it itches, no one will be offended if you scratch it in public. 2. No one notices if you have hair growing in weird places as you get older. 3. Personal hygiene is a blast: No one expects you to take a bath every day, and you don't even have to comb your own hair. 4. Having a wet nose is considered a sign of good health. 5. No one thinks less of you for passing gas. Some people might actually think you're cute. 6. Who needs a big home entertainment system? A bone or an old shoe can entertain you for hours. 7. You can spend hours just smelling stuff. 8. No one ever expects you to pay for lunch or dinner. You never have to worry about table manners, and if you gain weight, it's someone else's fault. 9. It doesn't take much to make you happy. You're always excited to see the same old people. All they have to do is leave the room for five minutes and come back. 10. Every garbage can looks like a cold buffet to you. 
"How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?" ROTTWEILER: Just one. You want to make something of it? DOBERMAN: Immediately decides to change the brand of light bulb and find a more efficient form of lighting -- perhaps a fluorescent bulb. AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD: One, but just "try" to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away. JACK RUSSELL TERRIER: Two, but the job never gets done -- they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done! BULLDOG: Just one. But it takes them three years to do it. POMERANIANS don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a German Shepherd in to do the job for them while they're out. PUG: Er, two. Or maybe one. No -- on second thought, make that two. Is that OK with you? GOLDEN RETRIEVER: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb? AFGHAN: Light bulb? What light bulb?  CAT: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes. SHIBA-INU: Zero! Shibas aren't afraid of the dark! SCHIPPERKE: It's your light bulb -- change it yourself. Unless..... Is there food involved?? POODLE: Sorry, Just had my nails done. BEAGLE: How many cookies do I get? WEIMARANER: What?? Light bulb? You want ME to change a LIGHT BULB? LAB: Why change it? The darker it is, the longer I can sleep. BASENJI: LIGHT BULB? We don't change no stinking light bulbs! MALAMUTE: Let "him" do it. You can pet me while he's busy. ************************************** DOG PROPERTY LAWS  . .  -
If I like it, it's mine.  -
If it's in my mouth, it's mine. . . -
If I can take it from you, it's mine. -
If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. . . -
If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way. -
If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. . . . -
If it just looks like mine, it's mine. -
If I saw it first, it's mine. . . . -
If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes
mine. 
-
If it's broken, it's yours.****************************************** HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME: - Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning. - Both mark their territory. - Neither tells you what's bothering them. - The smaller ones tend to be more nervous. - Neither does any dishes. - Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut. - Both are suspicious of the postman. - Neither understands what you see in cats.  * HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN: - Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public. - Dogs miss you when you're gone.  - Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong. - Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out. - Dogs do not play games with you-except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw.) - You can train a dog. - Dogs are easy to buy for. - Dogs understand what "no" means. HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN: - A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor. - A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink. - A dog never expects you to telephone. - A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday. - A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life. - A dog never expects flowers on Valentine's Day. - The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you. - A dog does not shop. ************************************************ More coming...
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Thursday 28-Aug-2008 You are visitor #
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